I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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