she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
My ass is underappreciated
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
