you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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