It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
