508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
