Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
