I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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