Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
