Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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