Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
