btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
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