So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
nutella sex= disaster
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
