Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
