You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize