O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
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