Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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