She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
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