ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
there is puke in my bra ... again
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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