Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
