dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
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