oh god the rape fog is back!
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
