Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize