You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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