Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
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