Three words: puerto rican gang bang
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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