today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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