Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
there was a trapeze. enough said
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize
