She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
