What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize