im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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