white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
