hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i can't believe i had my finger in that
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
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