I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
