Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I want to be your penis for a week.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
