Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
