his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize