roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
