Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
