He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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