yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize