rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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