Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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