just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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