I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
