so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
