Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
