Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
