He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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