I think scott just propositioned me for sex
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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