you would pick up someone in the library
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
