Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
