used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
