I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
