I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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