I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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