That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I queefed so loud it echoed.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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