let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Randomize
