I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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