I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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