I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
