no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
