so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
