i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
