idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
