is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
i've created a new STD.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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