They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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