I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
